Nice Friends and Happy Routines

During the two years we spent living in Sydney, we never really found a group of friends we could socialise with regularly. On weekdays we went to work during the day and came home in the evening tired and cranky (often quite late), and that was about it. We spent most weekends together, just the two of us, sometimes out adventuring and other times quietly at home, but rarely with friends. Though we already had some gorgeous friends in the city when we arrived and met a few more through our jobs, we didn’t have a group of easy, comfortable, fun people we could hang out with at any time. We just never really found our place. And though we always enjoyed each other’s company and spent our days together quite happily (and had fun with our Sydney friends when we did manage to see them), it often felt like something important was missing.

Since moving to Bendigo so much has changed. We were lucky enough to meet some wonderful people and become part of a nice little group almost as soon as we arrived, and we’ve since formed a lovely little routine of social activities together. Most Sundays some of us go to the markets and potter about looking for treasures (which is where the pictures above were taken). On Wednesday nights we go to trivia at a local pub. Some Sunday nights we gather at one of our houses to play board games and every few weeks we all go out for dinner. After two years without those things, we are so grateful to have been welcomed so warmly. For the first time ever, we feel like we are living in a place where we could be happy to stay. Neither of us feels the desire to pick up and leave and a lot of it is owing to the wonderful people we have met in the past eight months.

The move to Bendigo hasn’t been all sunshine and lollipops. There have been struggles with money, stress concerning our careers, and extreme frustration over the rundown old house we are currently living in (among other things) but we are both certain moving here was the right thing to do. We are so excited about the little life we are building together, in this lovely part of the world.

Phew! Making friends is a tricky business isn’t it?!

I hope you all have a truly gorgeous week. I’ll be thinking of you!

Katie x

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Katie

About Katie

Katie is a tea drinking, jewellery making, op-shopping daydreamer. Katie likes vintage dresses, Pictionary, doilies and colourful tights.

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26 Responses to “Nice Friends and Happy Routines”

  1. AmyS April 30, 2012 at 12:22 am #

    It is so much more difficult to make friends as an adult than it was as a child. We when were little, you could walk up to any random stranger and simply ask “Do you want to be my friend” and then life went on – together. Now, as an adult, it is not as easy to simply walk up and ask… although perhaps I think one day I just might… to see if it still works.

    • Katie
      Katie April 30, 2012 at 11:43 pm #

      Yes, making friends was so easy when we were kids but becomes so difficult and complicated as we get older! I would absolutely love if someone walked up to me and just asked me be my friend. I think you should do it. Maybe one day i’ll get really brave and try it out too!

  2. kim April 30, 2012 at 3:49 am #

    its amazing how change can bring such great unknown things isn’t it. live is so great.

  3. Maddie April 30, 2012 at 7:31 am #

    I love you guys.

  4. Sarah April 30, 2012 at 7:39 am #

    There’s always challenges when making such a big more so how wonderful that such an important aspect of it has fallen easily into place. Good friends are to be treasured.
    I get on well with everybody but I do find it hard making friends as I am naturally introverted. The friends I do have are so very important to me. I’m a quality over quantity gal.

  5. deerdonna April 30, 2012 at 9:49 am #

    i have tried and tried to make friends and when making our wedding list, i realised that i had no friends at all coming to my wedding… then i realised my family are my friends.

    i guess im lucky that they are so close to me that they are my friends, but it still would be nice to find like minded people who live close by to go to markets with and hang out.

    glad you guys are settling in. i am sure we will drive to bendigo one weekend to visit!

    • Katie
      Katie April 30, 2012 at 10:19 am #

      Donna, I think having close relationships within your family is every bit as wonderful as having friendships outside the fam, maybe even more so. When we were in Sydney I probably wouldn’t have survived without our weekly family dinners with my aunt, uncle and cousins, because I adore them, and as well as being family they are friends! We are so lucky to have family who we get along with and actually enjoy spending time with. Many people with serious family problems would do anything for that! xoxo

  6. cass April 30, 2012 at 10:24 am #

    When we moved to Perth we found it incredibly difficult to make new friends, and ended up finding most of them through our involvement with The Greens, so we ended up returning to Sydney where we had our lovely friend circle waiting for us. Without friends, no place is really home. So pleased to stumble across your blog in recent blog travails, and lovely to read of your new comfortable social standing. Yay!

  7. lisa April 30, 2012 at 11:15 am #

    Making friends as a grown up is SO hard! I have a few really close friends moving away this week (they finished up grad-school) and I’m so bummed. That’s also why I worry about moving to a new place, but I don’t want to let that stop me from a new adventure. Very inspiring to read your story! And it helps to have a partner that you love to spend time with! :)

  8. Miss Alix April 30, 2012 at 11:40 am #

    Making friends as an adult is awfully difficult. It seems making that leap from simple acquaintances to true friends often seems impossible. It is wonderful that you’ve found friends in you new home. It seems that some places are just more open to making this happen than others and clearly you’ve found the right fit.

    • Katie
      Katie April 30, 2012 at 11:30 pm #

      Yes, that is exactly it! Making the shift from acquaintances to friends is really HARD! I think more than anything we just got lucky this time :)

  9. Rebecca April 30, 2012 at 12:47 pm #

    Sad because it does seem to be true that’s it’s hard to make friends, I live in the city, and feel very lonely sometimes, :( it’s hard to break the initial ice as you get older . . .I’m sure there are lots of nice people out there x x Glad you have found more friends there x x

  10. Lyndall April 30, 2012 at 3:38 pm #

    It sounds like you’ve found a really nice group of friends! B. and I are such homebodies that we tend to just do things together, or with our families. I always want to make the effort to be more social but the hard part about being adults is finding the time when everyone is free! It’s nice when it does happen though :)

    • Katie
      Katie April 30, 2012 at 11:50 pm #

      We are major homebodies too. I love going out and socialising but I also need a fairly large portion of quite, home time, for just the two of us and our fur babies. I get tired and frazzled and cranky otherwise.

      And yep, it does get really hard to find a time when everyone is free! That was one of the biggest problems we had in Sydney – people worked such long hours and commuted a long way each day, driving anywhere took so long and was so stressful and everyone always had 50 millions things happening at once, so catching up with people was virtually impossible!

  11. Natasha April 30, 2012 at 6:07 pm #

    It’s been difficult for us to meet people in our new town too. My boyfriend works away from home so much, so when he’s here we just want to relax and spend some time together. When I’m here alone I usually just work the whole day and then watch tv with the dogs. A lot of people we’ve met are nice, but we’re never going to be really good friends or anything. I’ve started meeting some people I get along with well now, so I guess it just takes time.

  12. Emma April 30, 2012 at 6:11 pm #

    I think when you get older it can get a bit harder with making friends. We have done a lot of country hopping over the past few years and now we are back in Australia I have found we have a very small circle of friends. My man is English and he has found it hard between traveling to and being at work, there isn’t much time for anything else. Having a baby and being in a Mother’s group has done us the world of good.
    I do understand and sounds like you are having a great time now xx

  13. Melanie April 30, 2012 at 6:34 pm #

    And here I was thinking I’m the only one having problems finding some friends. It’s so hard finding grown up people to be friends with. Totally understand you there. A friend of mine was here for a visit this weekend and it was SO nice socializing a bit and hanging out. It really makes a lot of difference and lifts the spirits if you have somebody to hang out with.

    Glad you are happy were you are :)

  14. Kelly April 30, 2012 at 9:10 pm #

    how funny you blogged about this, I have the exact problem you found in Sydney. All my regular friends have either moved overseas or to another state, or dropped off the face of the earth having found new boyfriends (you know how that happens!) And part of me can’t be bothered being the only one caring about it. I pretty much only have the girls i work with as friends now, and thats fine with me. Most of the time I feel like they know me better than my other friends ever did! I hate being old and it being such an awkward thing to make new friends! It does make me realise how lucky i am to have found someone who can fill that friend gap anytime I need him to (lets face it -all the time!). So glad you guys have done the impossible! Kx

    • Katie
      Katie April 30, 2012 at 11:39 pm #

      Yes! Awkward! That is exactly the right word for trying to make new friends as a grown up! Like AmyS said above, if only we could just go up to people who seemed interesting and ask “will you be my friend?” like when we were little! I’m very, very grateful I have Reubs to fill the friend gap too. Even when we didn’t have much of a social life in Sydney, though I missed having friends, I never felt lonely because I had him :)

      Oh and I wish I had gotten to know you sooner so we could have been real life friends before Reubs and I moved! xo

  15. Shinypigeon May 1, 2012 at 2:26 am #

    I think having friends around is so important, speaking as someone who doesn’t have hers around too often, because we live so far away.
    We even live 20 minutes drive from P’s friends. cannot wait to be in the same town when we move next year!

  16. Raynor May 1, 2012 at 4:35 am #

    Katie! This is so lovely. Aaaah! Since moving to Melbourne, I’ve had a similar feeling as your Sydney feeling. I’ve met some lovely peeps, but I crave that “crew” to hang with that’s easy and comfortable and reliable. I’ll keep at it though! I’m sure they’re out there!

  17. Jennifer F. May 1, 2012 at 5:52 am #

    Making friends has been one of my ongoing self-improvement goals as an adult. For whatever reason, it has never come naturally for me. I like a good measure of homebody quiet time, as does my boyfriend Zach, so sometimes I get lonely and it takes me a few days to actually recognize it. Oh, well… :) I am getting better at the whole friends thing.

  18. serp May 3, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

    You guys should buy a place in Bendigo, gotta be some cheap places to buy compared to Sydney. Get out of the rundown place and sink the time and energy into a place of your own!

    • Katie
      Katie May 3, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

      Yep, that’s the plan! It is just a matter of saving for a deposit :)

  19. Jessica June 2, 2012 at 2:42 am #

    Hi Katie,
    Really like the page & refreshing to hear people sharing their thoughts about the friends situation. Very much in the same boat myself, the collective & very random small group of individuals I call true friends are mostly sprawled out anywhere between melb to far north QLD, interstate. Overseas ect… I am so very lucky to have the unconditional love, friendship & support from family, in particular my older sister. And am thankful.
    In melb I had a solid group we were Made up of couples, singles, siblings ect… It just clicked and get up to the same things with the same ease you do here in Bendigo with your lovely people.
    I posted this because I have now relocated from melb to bendigo only 3 weeks ago by myself for work. I have no friends or family around the area, and all though i enjoy my own company and tend not to be needy or get lonely often I also love my new house along with lifestyle thats good for the soul im keeping my mind open to hopefully meeting people i could potentially walk straight up to at some stage and simply ask….. “hey, you wana be friends?” . I am loving this part of the world a litlle bit more everyday I spend here and it feels right, I planned on 6 months, but the feels like it going to be quite a bit linger than that.
    Thanks for reading and here’s to bendigO! ;)

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  1. 2012: The Year That Was | House of Humble - December 31, 2012

    [...] all that has happened and how much our lives have changed, in both big and small ways. We made new friends, welcomed Daisy to our little family, settled into a nice routine in Bendigo, then uprooted [...]

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